Hello to all my reader fans: Today I been laying out in the sunshine enjoying a cool breeze and I got to thinking, cause you know thinking is what people sometimes do when they get bored or they need to solve a problem. As for me, well I am a little bit bored right now and I do have a problem I need to solve, so maybe you can help me.
I been studying about why God made dogs to live in the south. Heck, we are born with fur coats and even if we don't need them in the south in the summer time, there ain't no way to get rid of them. I reckon God made Adam and Eve before he made us dogs, and he seen Adam and Eve needed some clothes. So God just gave us fur coats so we wouldn't need no clothes.
Only in the summer time our fur coats don't do nothing but attract them old pesky fleas and ticks. Now I know God created fleas and ticks too, but I sure ain't found much use for those pesky little bugs being here. I have to take medicine just so those little buggers don't bite me. So what was God thinking when he made dogs to live in the south and created those pesky little critters who's only purpose is to make dogs miserable.
Like I said, I been studying this question real hard and I have come up with an answer. You see God wanted dogs to have joy. Well there ain't no better joy than a nice bowl of Blue Bell vanilla ice cream on a hot summer day. And heck, if we didn't get hot from our fur coats, we might not have no reason to need a delicious bowl of cold ice cream.
The Bible says God made everyone with a purpose in mind. So after lots of pondering, my purpose is to be God's ambassador for all dogs to have joy. And that joy is Blue Bell vanilla ice cream. Now since we aint exactly humans, we need our own flavor so you humans don't eat our share of the ice cream. I think we shall call this ice cream Dog Gone Good Vanilla Bone ice cream. Heck, Blue Bell could even make popsicles in the shape of a bone. And just to be sure you humans don't eat up all the ice cream, I need my picture on the carton of Blue Bell ice cream so humans will know they are suppose to give it to their dogs to have great joy and to keep cool in the summertime. I don't think fleas and ticks much care for ice cream cause it's too sticky for them to crawl in. So our Blue Bell is gonna help keep them pesky little bugs away and Blue Bell always taste better than a dose of medicine.
So readers, as God's doggie ambassador, I need you to contact Blue Bell ice cream and tell them you want Miss Roxie Rottweiler to have her own Dog Gone Good Vanilla Bone ice cream so all dogs can have joy. Now my Mama's done called Blue Bell for me, cause my paws are too big for her cell phone. But they wouldn't let Mama talk to Mr. Howard Kruse. He's the President of Blue Bell and he needs to hear from lots of people. Cause if he knows he can sell lots of doggie ice cream and make lots and lots of money, then he will make us some ice cream. We don't expect no ice cream for free. Our mamas will pay for it, and Mr. Kruse can get rich. I bet he would make us some ice cream if he thought he could get rich. Don't you?
So readers help me help all dogs cause this is what God wants me to do and you would be doing a good deed today. Tell Mr. Kruse we need some Dog Gone Good Vanilla Bone ice cream with my picture on the carton.
Till next time, Miss Roxie Rottweiler