Sunday, July 12, 2009

Get Ready For Canine Blue Bell

Hello to my dear reader friends:
Today I have some most exciting news to share. Blue Bell IS going to start making me some ice cream for dogs. So now all dogs get to have their own most delicious Blue Bell Ice Cream. Best of all, we can go in the pet stores and pick out our own flavors. Heck, we can have Blue Bell ice cream parties in the pet stores, cause we are welcome in pet stores, even if we ain't welcome in grocery stores. And when we have adoption day at the pet stores for my homeless friends, well every time one of them gets adopted to a forever home, we're gonna give their family a coupon for Blue Bell Canine Ice Cream just so's we can be sure my friends get to the taste the most delicious joy of Blue Bell. Yes Sirree, my dream is coming true. How do you like them apples?
And you know how I know Blue Bell IS going to make all of us some doggie ice cream. Well, you see, Miss Kelli, at the Blue Bell plant, wrote a story about me and put my picture in the Blue Bell paper. And you know how that makes it so? I'm gonna tell you. You see, a long time ago this little girl named Virginia didn't know if there really was a Santa Claus. So she wrote herself a letter to the newspaper. Well that Mr. Editor wrote back to Virginia and said if you see it in the paper well it's got to be so. So I reckon since Blue Bell put doggie ice cream in their paper, well you know it's got to be so. And I just can't wait till I can become the newest Blue Bell taste tester. Then I can host lots of ice cream parties at the pet stores and I can help my friends find homes at the same time. It's even better than Santa Claus, cause you get to have Blue Bell Ice Cream EVERYDAY, and not just on Christmas. Now everybody can't get a copy of The Scoop cause it's got some secrets some folks ain't spose to know. So I'm attaching a picture of my Blue Bell story so's you could see it for yourself. And well, we couldn't be sharing our trade secrets cause we only want Blue Bell to make doggie ice cream. It's the best.
Now, dear readers, you can help too. Now I done give Mr. Howard Kruse four new flavors of dog ice cream - Dog Gone Good Vanilla Bone, Pawlicious Peanut Butter, Country Canine Carob and Rottweiler Rocky Road. Only problem is there are seven days in a week, so seems to me iffen we have seven flavors, well we could have a most delicious Blue Bell flavor everyday of the week. So I'm gonna ask your help. I want you to write to me and recommend your most favorite flavor for dogs. Afterall if you humans get yourselves some special flavors sometimes, well I reckon dogs can have special flavors too. Now you got to be sure it's something dogs can eat cause we sure don't want no dogs to eat something that's bad for em. No sirree, cause Blue Bell makes only the bestest of the best, so you got to have yourselves a really good flavor. Now you see, we don't want something like chunky monkey cause we all know dogs don't eat monkeys, and who knows what part of the monkey is in the ice cream anyway. YUCK! And we don't want no moose tracks cause don't nobody want to eat ice cream a moose has done walked through, not even humans. YUCK! No, we might want some new flavors like Poodle Parfait, Akita Chiquita, Beagle Brickle, Decadent Dalmation, or maybe some Not So Chocolate Lab, Over The Border Collie, or Neopolitan Mastiff. So put your thinking caps on and send me your favorite canine ice cream flavors.
You see then I'm gonna tell Mr. Howard Kruse we got to have ourselves a contest to find the most and best special doggie ice cream treats. And maybe iffen you win the contest, well you can get your dog's picture in The Scoop. Now you see, you can't be doing this hoping you could win money and prizes. Cause you see, we got a gazillion dogs that ain't got no homes. So as long as you're spending your money to help Mr. Kruse make Blue Bell for dogs, well you see, all the left over money is gonna help my friends get homes by helping Best Friends Animal Sanctuary take care of my friends until my friends do find homes. See you got to practice what's called random acts of kindness. And see, just by buying Blue Bell ice cream for dogs, well you're keeping folks in a job and creating new jobs too. You're spending money on most delicious good and nutritious ice cream, and you're giving money to charity at the same time. So you're helping and you don't even know it and you ain't spending no extra money, cept what you already gonna spend on the most delicious Blue Bell. Best of all my homeless friends is not only gonna get forever homes cause you bought Blue Bell Ice Cream for dogs, their families are gonna be buying them Blue Bell too. You see that way nobody gets left behind.
And now dear reader friends, I got to get busy. You see I got to write a jingle for the new Blue Bell ice cream for dogs. It's just gonna be so dog gone good.
Have a Blue Bell Day, Love Miss Roxie

No comments:

Post a Comment